A Marriage Journey

[This morning we at St. Aidan's have the wonderful gift of a wedding in the midst of our main service!]

September 15, 2013
Luke 15:1-10 

This morning we have the great joy of being part of the celebration of Chris and Maria’s marriage.  They wanted to have a church ceremony and were immediately enamored with the idea of having their wedding here, at St. Aidan’s, among all of you, in the midst of a Sunday morning service.  Which I think says a lot about them, and about their relationship, a big piece of which is their spiritual connection. 

Chris and Maria are embarking on a journey together; a journey that promises beauty and adventure and love, and a journey that will almost certainly come with some unexpected twists and turns as well.

I was thinking about them, and about this wedding, while I was taking my own journey -- an 8-mile sunrise hike along the Grand Canyon this summer.

            It started beautifully.  With the time change, I woke up easily at 5 and snuck out in the dark to the start of the path.  The light was just easing up over the canyon – oranges and yellows and pinks.  I was full of energy and the scenery was magical.  I kept walking, noticing the shadows changing with the rising light and loving how the colors of the rock cliffs were shifting.  An elk family crossed my path.  Everything was perfect.

            A couple miles later, the walking path was no longer paved, and the trail got narrower and rockier.  At some points it was right on the edge and I had to walk very carefully and sometimes climb over roots or duck under branches.  A few times the pebbles under my feet shifted and I started to slip before catching myself just before the edge.

            Then suddenly the road turned away from the canyon.  I reached this long stretch I hadn’t been expecting where I was nowhere near the canyon.  Instead, I was surrounded by very blah woods.  I could have been anywhere.  Without the stunning scenery I felt tired, thirsty, bored.  I wondered if this trail would ever turn back to the rim or if this was the way it would be for the rest of the hike.  A little anxious piece of me even wondered if maybe I’d somehow gotten off the road I wanted to be on and might be a little bit lost.  

            Then I heard the park bus nearby.  I thought about trying to cut through the woods to the road it was on, to give up on my plan, hop on the bus, and return to the comfy cabin and the coffee that I knew was waiting for me.

            But I didn’t.  I stuck it out.  I kept going, one step at a time, concentrating on the view ahead.  At some point on the long haul through the woods, I passed someone going the other way, and we smiled and said hello.  Which was encouragement somehow to keep going; it wasn’t just me slogging through these interminable woods on my own.

            And finally there was a little bend that gave me another glimpse of the canyon.  The path got a little closer, and then a little closer still.  I began to remember why I was walking here to begin with.  And then, suddenly, there I was again, right next to the rim.  But it was a new and different view; I was on the other side of a bend in the canyon and could look back to see the path I’d traveled on.  The light was bright in the sky so I could see details in the canyons I hadn’t noticed before.  There was the river below, the river that looked so tiny from my perspective but that I knew was actually the width of a football field.   

            And there I was at my end point, at a trail head called Hermit’s Rest.  There was a water fountain, and a bathroom, and dozens of people getting ready to start their own exploration.  And I felt like this canyon was now mine in some way.  I had worked hard for it and stuck with it and now I appreciated it more than I had at the start.

            I think that my Grand Canyon trek might be similar to the journey of marriage.  There are times when it is easy.  When all you have to do is hold hands and enjoy each other.  But I’m guessing every married couple in here would admit that there are also times that feel dangerous, where things are coming at you too fast, or where you hit snags in the road.  And fewer might admit but I’ll bet it is eventually true in most marriages that there may be times when you start to forget why you chose this person, when the excitement disappears and you get tired.  Times when you have to find new ways to stick with it, find your encouragement where you can, put new effort into it, until you finally emerge again on the other side with new understanding and appreciation for your relationship. 

            I realize that isn’t a completely rosy picture of love and marriage; this is a daunting task you guys set out on today!

            But then we get back to these two people making this commitment here in this place today.  Choosing a church wedding, not because it’s pretty, or easy, or will make their parents happy.  But because it means something to them.

            I wish I could claim that getting married in a church means your marriage will be tumult-free, but we all know that isn’t true.  But I do think that there are a few ways that this beginning can strengthen you two in your journey together.

            First, a few minutes ago every one of us here pledged to do all in our power to uphold Chris and Maria in their marriage.  To love and encourage them, to celebrate their joys and mourn their losses with them, to be an example to them maybe, or to learn from their example.  A Church, at its best, is a community where everyone really takes that seriously.  Where we look out for each other, supporting each other, praying for each other, and challenging each other to fulfill our callings as children of God.  Chris and Maria, I pray that you will feel the people of St. Aidan’s upholding your marriage in the decades to come.

Second, in just a minute I will have the great honor of proclaiming the Church’s blessing on their union.  They could be married without the Church’s blessing, in the same way you can be a person living in the world without baptism.  But just like we announce in baptism that the person is sealed as Christ’s own forever, the blessing in marriage is an invisible seal upon these two.  Chris and Maria are intentionally inviting God into their marriage.  Which changes the nature of the vows they will be making to each other.

When I began seminary one thing that struck me most was learning about the difference between the covenant God makes with people and a traditional sort of marketplace promise.    A usual promise, even a serious one, goes something like this: I will do x if you do y.  Always with the implied “But.”  If you stop doing y, I will stop doing x.   A bilateral agreement, fair and square.  But the covenants God makes with Abraham, Jacob and Moses – the promise that “I will be your God and you will be my people” – and the covenant that God makes with us through Jesus are entirely different.  That promise is just I will do x.  Period.  Because I love you, I will keep on doing x.

That’s what our Gospel is about this morning.  A God who keeps on doing x, keeps on looking for the lost sheep, the lost coin, against all odds and no matter what.  Forever and for all time.

And that’s what God is about in this wedding sacrament this morning too.  God is part and parcel of this covenant you two are making with each other.  Right there in the midst of it, bringing into it all of the unilateral love and support and challenge that God can offer.  No matter what.

            That is the long view of this journey.  The person sitting next to you today, this person you are taking to be your spouse to have and to hold from this day forward has pledged to walk the path with you to the end of the trail, no matter what the scenery might be on either side.  The infinitely loving and understanding canyon that is God is stretching out next to you on the journey even when you don’t always see or realize it.  And there are other people on similar journeys that will cross along your path and be there to support and encourage you along the way, including every single person here in this room today.

And so, Maria and Chris, are you ready to commit yourself to this journey together with all of its highs and lows, twists and turns?