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Marie Kondo-ing our Hearts and Lives

Feb 15/16, 2020
Deuteronomy 30:15-20
Organization expert Marie Kondo has a new book coming out, and I’ve been wondering if it will cause the same excitement as her last book and her Netflix series.
Her show, “The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up,” was released last New Year’s Day, just in time for our family resolutions.  We watched the first show and we all loved Marie Kondo. She doesn’t speak much English, but has such a beautiful, calm aura.  
We were so inspired that we set a timer for an hour and everyone chose a space to tidy.  Anything that inspires that is a win in my book!  
For most of the family, that was the end of that.  But not for my husband. Holden is a government worker and his introduction to Marie Kondo came during that long stretch of furlough last year, so he had time on his hands.  He got busy on his closet, and to this day, his drawers are still folded just so -- things all lined up in Marie Kondo’s pretty tri-fold method.  Holden tried to convert me, but I’m afraid I was not very cooperative. “Correct” folding takes a little too much time and effort for my taste. (In fact, one of my favorite ways to make Holden crazy is to throw a towel on the towel stack incorrectly folded and not in the correct color pile.)
Of course, Marie Kondo’s books and show aren’t meant to be religious.  They are about organization, purging, cleaning.  She is focused largely on the Stuff in our lives, and how reducing our material things to what matters, and arranging them neatly, can bring us joy.
And that in itself is a great thing, really.  Most of us have a disordered relationship with Stuff.  We have too much, and yet we think having more will bring us more happiness.  We have trouble disconnecting our Stuff from our self-worth. And we rarely think about where the Stuff comes from, or what it took to make it or get it to us, or what will happen to it when we no longer need it.   
But I think the reason Marie Kondo has inspired so many people has less to do with how she organizes Stuff than with the promise of joy and peace and fullness of life that her method seems to promise.  She goes into homes that are full of division and misunderstanding and impatience, and brings unity and reconciliation and calm. She touches a deep longing within us that many of us didn’t even know was there.  A longing for spaciousness -- not just in our homes, but in our relationships and our lives. Marie Kondo asks us how we want to live.
And I think Moses is asking the same question in our Old Testament reading from Deuteronomy.  This is Moses’ farewell address -- his final words of wisdom to the Israelites. It is the eve of their settlement in the Promised Land and almost everyone that made the 40 year journey with him from Egypt has died. They are almost close enough to touch the Promised Land. And Moses pauses to look back, to retell their shared history of how God has continued to be faithful through their long journey in the wilderness -- often despite their own unfaithfulness to God and each other.
Moses shares the beautiful history of the covenant their forefathers and mothers made with God.  The covenant that God would be their God and they would be God’s people. They would worship and love only one God, and they would act in justice and love towards each other and towards those on the margins. 
And then the book of Deuteronomy culminates with our passage.  Moses is begging the Israelites to continue in this covenant relationship with God.  A new generation is being invited to join the covenant for themselves and become partners with God. 
And so are we.  This is an invitation to us, too. 
What will we choose?  Life and prosperity, or death and adversity?
It seems like an easy choice, but we all know it isn’t.  Life is complicated. Right and wrong are not always clear.  And sometimes it’s the little decisions (or sometimes, things you do or don’t do that you don’t even realize are decisions) that end up causing the most trouble.  And a lot of the time, even when you have made a great decision initially – something like marrying your spouse, or having a child, or getting baptized, or supporting someone in a crisis – it’s the continual everyday tiny little decisions that are really reaffirmations of that first decision that get you.  Before you know it, you look back and see that you’ve been choosing death and adversity, and that was certainly not your intention. Whether it’s letting distance grow in your marriage, or not spending enough time with your child, or not living up to your baptismal vows, or losing touch with a friend who needs you. There are so many ways to forsake that Choice between Life and Death. There are so many ways to give ourselves to what doesn’t matter.
As I read about Marie Kondo’s new book, I started thinking maybe it was time for us to try again in our house.  Maybe not with her OCD folding method, but with the purging part. But as I read about Marie Kondo’s method, I kept hearing it as a metaphor for so much more.  And so today I want to echo Moses’ invitation through the lens of Marie Kondo’s 6-step method to tidying up. How can we Marie Kondo not our homes but our hearts and our lives?
1. Commit yourself.
For Marie Kondo, of course, this means committing yourself to cleaning up.  But for us, it’s a matter of deciding to Choose Life, to commit ourselves to following Jesus, and to realize that every moment is a chance to live into that choice more fully.  It doesn’t need to wait until we have more time, or until we understand theology properly, or until we have our lives together. Choose This Day. And every day. 
2. Imagine your ideal lifestyle.
When Marie Kondo goes into a house, she has the people that live there sit on the floor in quiet as they name for themselves the intentions and hopes they have for their home.  It’s pretty great advice for us in our Christian faith. Imagine what you want for your life with God. As St. Ignatius puts it, “What is the grace you need from God today?” Everything that follows is the practice that helps you get there.
3. Put everything out and discard first.
Marie Kondo works by categories of Stuff, but for each category she suggests putting out everything at one time before deciding what needs discarding.  This way you can see how much you have.
Here too, there is a lot for us to learn.  Looking at our lives in full helps us to see our many blessings and be grateful for them.  And it may also help us to see pieces of our lives where we are feeling separated from God or from one another.  When we look more broadly at our lives we might see connections or patterns that need our attention. Maybe there are things that are burdening you or holding you back that you need to let go of and entrust to God.
There are lots of ways to do this.  A daily examen, or a gratitude journal, or a talk with a priest or spiritual director, or maybe even a confession (And yes, we do offer that in the Episcopal Church if you need a tangible fresh start!).  
4. Tidy by category, not by location.
Marie Kondo’s approach is to organize not by room or area, but by type of item.  She separates Stuff into 5 categories: clothes, books, paper, miscellaneous items, and sentimental items.
I wonder if our parallel could be the St. Paul’s 5 Tenets?  We as people of faith are people who Pray, Worship, Learn, Serve and Give.  What if we take some time to think through how each category is going in our life right now.  (And if you are too new to the church to know about these, you would make Oran’s day if you ask him about them when he’s back next week!)  
5. Follow the right order.
For Marke Kondo, it is important not just to tidy by category, but to tidy in order. This seemed sort of arbitrary to me until I realized why.  She begins with clothes because that is the easiest for most people to work with. As you work through that category, you are practicing her method, so that by the time you get to the final category (sentimental items), you are ready for the harder decisions.  But what I love about Marie Kondo, is that even when someone is unable to make a decision and clearly holding on to something ridiculous, she is gentle and non-judgmental, encouraging them that they can always come back to that piece later.
We all need reminding that some parts of the spiritual life are going to be easier for us than others.  Each of us will have a different starting point. Whatever it is, be gentle with yourself and each other.  You can always get help, or come back to the piece that feels like too much.
6. Ask yourself, "Does it spark joy?"
This, of course, is Marie Kondo’s most famous question.  She wants people to hold each item in their hands and choose to keep things that give them joy.
For Moses, I think the question shifts a little.  We are to make decisions based on what gives fullness of life.  Our life is a continual practice of learning to walk in God’s ways so that we will really live -- live exuberantly.  God doesn’t want to constrict us so that we are only dutifully and fearfully obeying. God wants to free us to love wholeheartedly, to live with a passion for justice and mercy.  God wants us to yearn for relationship with God and each other in every part of our lives.
As Moses said to the people around him: “See, I have set before you today life and prosperity, death and adversity….  Choose life.” Amen.

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